8 Ways To Create Emotional Safety In Your Relationship

To feel safe isn’t something we should be casual about. Nor should it be a topic we shy away from. Feeling secure is vital in all areas of our lives, including romantic relationships. It amazes me when people pay less or no attention to matters of utmost importance. Then, they wonder why they aren’t functioning at their best.

To be at your best, having a healthy and solid connection with your partner is essential. But how do you expect to have a deeper connection with your partner if you don’t feel safe in the relationship? There cannot be any genuine or more profound connection with your partner if your emotional safety is threatened.

Often, we ignore such things and wonder why there is a brick wall between partners. If one partner’s security in a relationship is threatened, they are bound to withdraw to safety. If I may, are you emotionally secure in your relationship with your partner?

What Is Emotional Safety?

What does it mean to have emotional safety in relationships, or what does it feel like to be secure in a relationship? Emotional safety refers to the sense of security, comfort, and trust individuals feel in their relationships and environments to express themselves authentically without fear of judgment, rejection, or harm. It involves feeling accepted, respected, and supported for one’s thoughts, feelings, and experiences.

Emotional safety is essential for healthy relationships because it fosters open communication, vulnerability, and intimacy. When individuals feel emotionally secure, they are more likely to share their thoughts and feelings honestly, seek support when needed, and navigate conflicts constructively.

If what I briefly just discussed is absent from your relationship, it is safe to say that your emotional safety is threatened. Now, don’t you say, but I love my partner. It only takes a matter of time before they become worse.

Key Elements Of Emotional Safety

It would be unfair of me not to discuss some of the key elements of emotional safety, having briefly told us what emotional safety means. Let’s run through a few of the key elements of emotional safety.

1.  Trust

Trust is one of the first things to consider when discussing this topic. Isn’t trust one of the building blocks of healthy romantic relationships, or have things changed because we are in the 21st century? I do not think so because trust forms the foundation of a healthy and fulfilling romantic relationship, allowing both partners to grow and thrive together.

Both spouses will always feel confident that they can rely on each other and will not be betrayed when there is trust. So what what does that mean? Trusting your romantic partner is about having confidence in their integrity, honesty, and commitment to the relationship. It’s about believing they have your best interests at heart and will be faithful, reliable, and supportive.

Trusting your partner means feeling secure in their love and knowing you can rely on them through the good times and the challenges that life may bring. It’s also about being able to be vulnerable with them, knowing that they will respect and cherish your feelings and emotions. Ultimately, both partners will undoubtedly feel safe when this is present in a relationship.

2.  Vulnerability

Vulnerability is an essential factor that we cannot exclude from this list because the success of relationships depends on it. Being vulnerable in a romantic relationship means allowing yourself to be open and exposed emotionally without the protective barriers or masks we often put up to guard ourselves.

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It involves sharing your deepest thoughts, feelings, fears, and desires with your partner, even when it feels uncomfortable or risky. Vulnerability in a relationship requires honesty, trust, and a willingness to be seen and accepted for who you truly are, flaws and all.

Additionally, when you’re vulnerable with your partner, you’re allowing them to see the real you, which can deepen intimacy and connection. It involves sharing the happy moments and your insecurities, doubts, and struggles.

This level of openness can foster empathy, understanding, and support between spouses, leading to a stronger bond. In a nutshell, when both partners feel safe expressing their emotions, even if they are difficult or uncomfortable, that relationship is healthy.
I hope you understand why I said the relationship’s success depends on this.

3.  Communication

I wish I could stress this enough. What air is to the human body is what good communication is to relationships. One thing that most people fear is being judged by their partners. However, we sideline the fact that empathy and understanding are still a part of having good communication with our spouses.

We all want to be heard and not misunderstood. But when there is always a preconceived notion in one partner’s mind even before the other speaks out, what do you think will be the outcome of such a conversation?

Good communication involves showing empathy and understanding towards your partner’s feelings and experiences. This means validating their emotions, even if you disagree with them, and making an effort to see things from their point of view.

People in relationships want to feel that they can communicate openly and honestly without fear of judgment. The bottom line is we all want to feel safe in our relationships.

4.  Empathy

I knew you saw this coming. What’s a relationship without this? How can you relate to some of your partner’s challenges? Isn’t empathy supposed to make us closer and not drive us further apart?

Showing empathy in a relationship is essential for fostering understanding, connection, and emotional intimacy between partners. It involves being able to recognize, understand, and share in the feelings and experiences of your partner, even if you haven’t personally experienced them yourself. This is true love.

The essence of showing empathy lies in validating your partner’s emotions and demonstrating that you care about their well-being. It means listening attentively, without judgment (again, the word “judgement” finds its way here), and offering support and comfort when needed.

Empathy lets you put yourself in your partner’s shoes, seeing things from their perspective and responding with kindness, compassion, and sensitivity. This is one of the ultimate things every spouse needs from their significant other.

We all want to feel heard, understood, and valued. Why? These things always strengthen the emotional bond between partners, foster mutual trust and respect, and enhance the relationship’s quality. Empathy is a powerful tool for building and sustaining a loving and harmonious partnership. Never forget that.

5.  Support

Can there be relationships where romantic partners are supportive of each other, relationships where partners aren’t jealous of each other’s successes because they view each other’s wins as theirs? Of course!

One of the best things anyone could ask for is a relationship where you support your partner to improve and vice versa. A relationship where partners help each other, even when they disagree or face challenges, is indeed a secure relationship.

6.  Respect

There are many ways we could start this discussion. Respect in a relationship is also about treating your partner with courtesy and kindness, even in moments of disagreement or conflict. We tend to lose it when in heated conversations.

That’s one of the places where the actual test will always come from. That means we will have to refrain from belittling, demeaning, or showing any form of controlling behavior and instead communicate with honesty, empathy, and compassion.

In the simplest of terms, love respects. How did we then learn to disrespect the ones we love in the name of love? A relationship where partners respect each other’s boundaries, values and beliefs is secure. So, learn to respect your partner.

Respecting your partner in a relationship is fundamental for creating a healthy and fulfilling connection. So, when both partners respect each other, it cultivates a sense of trust, mutual admiration, and emotional safety within the relationship.

Furthermore, it lays the foundation for a partnership built on love, understanding, and genuine regard for one another’s well-being. So, always remember that respect is the cornerstone of a solid and enduring bond between romantic partners.

8 Ways To Create Emotional Safety In Your Relationship

It is worth noting that creating emotional safety in a relationship takes time. That means it doesn’t just automatically happen overnight. You and your partner must put in effort and be willing to communicate and connect at all levels. Will it be worth it? Absolutely! So, let’s explore a few ways to create emotional safety.

1.  Practice Active Listening

An excellent place to start would be to practice active listening. It may be challenging, but it can be very beneficial if mastered. Communication is a two-way street. Sometimes, one spouse must listen to the other to have superb communication.

So, demonstrate to your spouse that you value and empathise with their emotions by actively listening. It’s important to show genuine interest in what they have to say. This way, they will open up more. This will undoubtedly make them feel safe.

2.  Avoid Judgement

Sometimes, what they do or say to you can be annoying. There is no need to deny that reality. However, why not correct them in love instead of criticizing or calling them awful names? For instance, maybe they made the wrong decision because they were under pressure or for another reason. And on getting home, they related everything to you as their spouse.

And then, in anger, you judged or criticized their choices. Next time, do you think they will open up if they make mistakes? They won’t feel safe telling you anything less than perfect. Thus, if this persists, the relationship will be filled with lies.

So, don’t criticize or judge their opinions or emotions, as it can only make things far from better. Allow them to show or tell you stuff; if they don’t sit right with you, correct them in love.

3.  Be Vulnerable With Your Partner

Vulnerability is essential, and men and women should be vulnerable toward their partners. Contrary to popular opinion, being vulnerable doesn’t mean that that person is weak. At some point, I had this same thought.

But over the years, I have realized that those vulnerable in their relationship with their spouse are genuinely the strong ones who aren’t afraid to put themselves out there. So don’t deny yourselves the true intimacy that accompanies vulnerability. Open up and share your own emotions and experiences with your partner.

4.  Respect Your Partner’s Boundaries

Boundaries are a framework for maintaining mutual respect, safety, and individual autonomy within the relationship. Even though you want to know everything and share all the possible things with your spouse, there should be some boundaries, and you should respect them.

The essence of boundaries lies in fostering a sense of clarity, communication, and self-respect. Also, they help establish healthy limits on behavior, communication, and interactions, ensuring both partners feel comfortable, understood, and valued. That means your partner should feel safe enough to say no and not worry about being misunderstood or you doing anything stupid to get even.

The truth is your partner cannot say yes to everything you need. In such moments, respecting their decision is vital because anything away from this might cause serious conflict in the relationship.

5.  Show Empathy

Feeling safe has to go both ways. That also means that showing empathy should come from both parties. You can do this by putting yourself in your spouse’s shoes and understanding their view and vice versa. In this case, there should be a perfect equilibrium for the relationship’s health and the emotional safety of each partner.

There is nothing as draining as an emotionally insecure relationship. Having a better understanding of your partner’s viewpoint cannot happen with empathy.

6.  Use “I” Statements

Are your feelings important? They are as important as your partner’s. However, when discussing with your spouse, using such statements to express your own feelings or emotions doesn’t mean you are selfish. In fact, it is unwise not to think of your own feelings in a relationship.

On the other hand, when addressing relationship issues, couples often default to beginning sentences with “you are…” or “you did…”, which can come across as accusatory and defensive (remember we spoke about correcting in love).

Opting for “I” statements enables us to express our feelings and communicate the impact of our partner’s actions, fostering an environment where both perspectives are acknowledged, and concerns can be raised without fear of dismissal.

7.  Validate Your Partner’s Emotions

When a person knows they are important, they feel loved. But when the opposite happens, resentment and other negative emotions will take over them. How often do you validate your partner’s feelings or emotions? Letting your spouse know that their feelings are vital and matter to you will only make them fall deeper in love with you.

I know we just briefly looked at the “I” statements, but it’s not just about you in the relationship all the time. Think about them, too, because the truth is that we all seek relationship security.

8.  Create A Safe Space For Open Communication

An atmosphere that is welcoming is the best thing anyone could ask for. Having a good communication structure can help create that. The world is packed with many troubles, and your relationship should be that safe space for both of you.

We all need that safe haven where we can be naked and not ashamed, open and not afraid. Unfortunately, the lack of communication can destroy things. So encourage your spouse to share things bothering them with you – whether they be thoughts or feelings.

At the end of the day, regardless of our gender, we are all humans. So, embrace patience and understand each other even in the face of disagreements. Additionally, show your spouse affection and love through kind gestures, verbal affirmations, acts of service, and physical touch. We all need love, and love thrives more in safety.

Are there safe relationships? Yes. Using what we discussed here can help greatly if yours isn’t. We are passionate about seeing healthy relationships, so we write articles like this to help. So, to get other fantastic articles like this, kindly click here. Also, other unique content can be found right on our socials. CLICK HERE to access them.

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